public-professional-speaking

When I started my speaking career, I so desperately wanted to be successful that I read every book I could get my hands on. I listened to audio tapes, CDs, went to seminars and joined speaking organizations.

During this process I met a lot of colleagues and/or people in the business eager to see me succeed. So much so, that they promised to lend a hand.

Given their enthusiasm and my desire to succeed, I took many of them up on their offer. The results were amazing…sort of. Initially many would take my phone calls and offer some words of guidance and directed me as to what I needed to do. The majority of the advice I received was right out of books I had already read.

I then pushed a little more and asked if they would mentor me and show me the “inside ropes” of the business. When I began to push this line of thinking, the dynamics in almost every case changed dramatically. All of a sudden, my phone calls weren’t being returned, meetings were canceled or delayed indefinitely with pat excuses like:

“Well, I’ll be busy for the next few months. I’ll give you a call.”

“We should definitely plan on doing something; let me get back to you.”

“Lets get together sometime and discuss it some more.”

I could go on, but I think you can sense the ‘kiss-off’ tone behind the statements. These were the polite ones. Quite a few wouldn’t even respond to my emails.

My all time favorites were the ones that wanted to ‘coach’ me for a fee. Which was fine with me, but when I would ask, “How will you help me…specifically?” (note: keyword here being ‘specifically’). The answer was usually some mumbo jumbo that equated to vague notions and generalities about what I should do. Again, things I could get out of a $15 paperback on the subject.

Conclusion: It seemed that no one was going to give me the specifics on how to break into the speaking business.

But why?!

Before I answer the ‘why’, let me tell you that for the next two years I learned the ‘real essence’ of marketing, networking and just flat out hustle. I became a one man show: web designer, graphic designer, writer, editor, publisher, shipping, accounting and so on. I did everything myself.

During this time I struggled but I learned a lot about the business of speaking and more specifically about being an entrepreneur. My nine-to-five mindset was replaced with a ‘work anytime, anywhere just to get paid” mindset. I learned how to start generating personal income and not waiting for a paycheck.

Today, I no longer wait for anyone to help me build my speaking career. I don’t ask for favors anymore because I already know the outcome. My results to date? A very successful speaking career in a short amount of time.

But back to the question of ‘Why’ others wouldn’t help. I’ve come to the conclusion that when I started to probe a little deeper and wanted more direct (i.e., concrete) information, my colleagues were simply not ready or willing to share.

Reason 1: Some are insecure in their own right and didn’t want to share the information for fear of giving away trade ‘secrets’. This is also known as a ‘zero sum’ mentality (i.e., they see things from a point of lack; win-lose scenario).

Reason 2: Others wanted to maintain an image of superiority or success and didn’t want to me to get close enough to see what was behind the curtain. I call this one the Wizard of Oz effect.

Reason 3: Many are unsure of their own success because it was, well, pure luck; right time, right place. In other cases, it had less to do with skill and more to do with who they knew. Both have nothing to do with strategy, and more to do with serendipity.

Now let me be very clear in noting that I don’t expect others to give me their hard earned information and experience for free; I would gladly pay for it. But again, when pressed for specifics on how they could help, the details seemed wanting.

Whatever the reasons, I’ve come to the conclusion that the reasons really don’t matter. People are either not willing or too busy to help you. This is not an indictment against my fellowman. It is simply a statement of fact. And yes, there are some who have some legitimate reasons for not wanting to help. Yet, the end result is still the same…you have to go it alone.

(Mental note: If people aren’t willing to help you, then they have no right in the same context to give you advice. If you’re going to go solo, then do so under your own mental abilities. Never doubt that you have the talent to succeed under your own power…you do!)

There is a saying that goes along the line of, “place your faith in no man (or woman) and you will never know disappointment”. I’ve taken this saying to heart when it comes to building my success. I no longer wait or depend on others to help me. If they do, that’s great. If they don’t, that’s OK too since I wasn’t banking on it anyway.

Place your faith, for your success, in your own hands. Depend on the one person that you know will never let you down…YOU.

The greatest mental achievement is succeeding under your own power; knowing that it wasn’t handed to you. And, when all is said and done, rejoice in the fact that you don’t owe anyone a damn thing.

p.s. For those of you interested in pursuing a speaking career, I’ve put together a concrete 14 course speaker's program based on my experience. Go to my website to find out more.

Need a Motivational Speaker for your Next Event?

Pubic Speaking or Professional Speaking: Going it Alone