Why Things Don't Change
Subject: Success, Motivation, Change, Initiative
Victor Antonio G.
A friend of mine the other day began talking to me about much he wanted something to change in his life. He didn’t know what. He just wanted something to change. So I asked him if had at a minimum an inkling of what he wanted to change in his life. “No, not really. I’m just bored with what I’m doing.” he said.
Before I could get a word in he added, “It seems that other people seem to have more going on than I do. It makes no sense. It's unfair.”
“Wow!” I thought.
I could tell that George was not in the mood for a pep talk or an uplifting story of how much he does have going for him. We guys are like that at times. We just like to make a statement and we really aren’t looking for any type of feedback. This is our modern form of a primitive grunt to relieve our angst. Ha!
After saying goodbye to George I began to think about how many people are in the same position. The great paradox is that people want things to change, but they themselves refuse to make any changes. They refuse to take accountability for the consequences of their own inaction.
Waiting or hoping for things to get better is not the wisest of strategies. I wanted to let George know that but again, he wasn’t in the mood to hear it.
The obvious reasons things don’t change is that you yourself refuse to make a change. Why do we fear change? Here are a few reasons: fear, comfort zone, complacency, waiting for inspiration and so forth. Now most of us our consciously aware of the reasons, but yet we seem to ignore their HOLD on our ability to move forward and change.
Here’s my suggestion. Figure out what you want changed, but more importantly on the outcome you desire. Once you figure out the outcome, you work backwards to figure out how to bring it about.
For example, if you want to be financially independent, then start with a specific number in mind. Let’s say that your definition of financial freedom is the ability to make six-figures a year. That means you have to generate a little over $8,000 ($100,000 divided by 12) a month.
The next step is to define the timeframe. Fill in the following:
I want to be making over $8,000 a month by ________
Now, start by asking yourself the basic questions: Can your current job satisfy this number and timeframe? If not, can getting a promotion generate this number in a given timeframe?
If the answers are a resounding NO, then you have to figure out a way to maneuver yourself into a new position that will allow that type of growth.
NOTE: Now, when you set a metric, try to be reasonable in choosing your target. If you’re making minimum wage, it is highly unlikely, unless luck swings your way that you can get to 6 figures in a year or so. Be pragmatic in your approach.
I wanted to tell George that he needs a plan. That he needs to define what he wants from life and formulate a plan for acquiring those things. But in George’s case, he just wanted to vent his frustration.
I don’t believe in venting, I believe in re-inventing oneself in order to get what you want. Reinventing means changing the way you do things. It means changing the way you approach life and business. It means stepping back, analyzing and then planning your way to success and not leave it in the hands of providence.
George was whining pure and simple. Whining is a desperate form of reaching out for help. But that’s the problem. You shouldn’t reach out for help. You should reach within. You, yourself have the answers to what you WANT and HAVE to do. You just haven’t reached that critical point of saying, “I can’t take this no more. No matter the cost, something has to and will change.”
Define your objectives. Define your financial goals. Define the timeframe. Define your lifestyle. And above all, don’t let life define you. Until you have a clear outcome in your mind (i.e., what you want to happen and the position you want to be in) you will continue to ask “Why?” things aren’t happening for you.
Please feel free to forward this article to a friend or colleague.
Copyright © 2005 by Victor Antonio G. All rights reserved. This article MAY be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, as long as the author’s name, website and email address are included as part of the article’s body. All inquiries, including information on electronic licensing, should be directed to Victor Antonio G.
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