 How
to Lose Your Money & Fake Your Destiny with Great Success
Subject: Business, Success, Failure
Everyone talks
about how to be successful through hard work and effort. Forget that! I’m
going to take a different approach and show you quite the opposite. I’m going
to show you how to lose all your hard earned money and fake your own death (I
mean destiny), and be successful at it. So get ready to take some mental
notes:
Step 1: Be a
Sissy
Being a sissy has
nothing to do with physical strength and everything to do with mental strength.
I know you want to be successful but you’re too afraid to make a commitment to
your dream. You’re scared to take chances. You’re scared to make choices. You
want everything to be perfect before you can “take a risk”. Yeah, right! That
day will come when Hell and my mother’s famous spicy hot Sancocho soup freezes
(author’s note: my money is on Hell freezing over first). Nonetheless, don’t do
anything until one of the following has occurred: All the stars in the
constellation have aligned themselves perfectly, you’ve spotted a once extinct
Dodo bird, or someone absolutely guarantees you that you will not fail. Until
one of these things are in place, don’t do anything…be a sissy.
Step 2: Listen to Stupid People
Oh, this is one of
my favorite. There are two types of people out there: successful and happy.
By successful, I mean someone who has a career and is financially secure. By
happy I mean someone who has found their “happy place” and enjoys where they’re
at in life. The latter has less do with money, and more do to with life style.
Knowing this, here’s the key: never, I mean NEVER listen to successful or happy
people. They’ll just make you nauseous with their ideas and strategies for
getting what you want out of life. Instead, listen to friends and family
members who are either broke or unhappy. That way if you fail, and chances are
that you will, you’ll at a minimum have them for company. And we know that
misery loves company. Also if you fail using their advice, you can always blame
it on them (See Rule 9 for more details).
Step 3: Wait for Divine Intervention
Yes, another
strategy on how to lose your money and fake destiny is to simply wait for the
‘invisible hand’ of fate to pass over you and bless you with immense abundance.
Yes, go ahead pray and ask God (whoever and whatever that is to you) to rain
down upon you all that you deserve. Sit back, do nothing and wait for something
to great to happen. Yes, your needs far outweigh those of people in other
countries who are dying from HIV, hunger, violence, etc. Don’t feel guilty.
Make your demand on God and if you’re so inclined, you might want to give Him a
deadline because you’re in a hurry. But remember, don’t lift a finger to help
yourself, you might offend Him by being so impatient and accountable.
Step 4: Develop a Need to Mimic
Desmond Morris
wrote a fantastic book called “The Human Ape”. If you haven’t read it, you are
depriving yourself of a primitive experience and pleasure. Morris talks about
the need for humans to mimic in order to feel accepted or more worthy. So, what
I want you to do in order for you to lose your money and fake your destiny is
look around you and buy whatever your friends or colleagues are buying. Buy the
extravagant cars, the luxurious museum (I mean house), take all the trips you
want to exotic places. What about money? Who cares! The point here is that
you want to mimic or copy what every one else is doing. Money and debt are
nuisances you shouldn’t have to worry about. What about credit card companies?
So what you owe them money, they’re crooks who already have too much money; they
don’t need yours.
Step 5: Take advantage of People
Here’s a great
tip. Forget about being considerate and to hell with the “golden rule”. If you
can use somebody, do it. I you can take advantage of a situation, do it.
Consequences?! Bah! Why bother with such silly notions; they’re so
inconvenient. For all you care, you’ll probably never have to deal with them
again. And if it’s in a work environment, all the better, screw them any way
you can. They probably deserve it for being so dang naïve. The basic premise
is this, the next time you in a position to really abuse another fellow human
being, don’t think twice, just do it!
Step 6: Invent Your Own Reality
Ooh, I like this
one. To hell with reality, create your own. When someone says, “You’re not
being realistic”, ignore them they’re an idiot. When someone tries to warn you
that your overspending and your debts are mounting, just go out and shop some
more…you’ll feel better. Remember also that money is the root of all evil and
no one should have to really save or keep any around for a rainy day. And,
even when everyone is telling you you’re wrong, ignore them because they ALL
can’t be right! And more than likely, they simply don’t have the same bright,
pink outlook on life you have. Dismiss those fools.
Step 7: Never Keep a Commitment Again
The next time you
make a promise, just remember that it really isn’t a commitment. A promise is
an agreement to do something but you reserve the right to change your mind
without notifying the other party (aka The When it’s Convenient Rule). And yes,
it’s OK to over-promise and under-deliver. The Convenient Rule still applies.
When you tell someone you’d show up to a meeting or an engagement, remember that
it’s OK to change your mind, again, without the need to notify the other party.
Commitments are so restrictive that you should allow yourself the flexibility to
abide by or ignore them whenever you feel like it. What if others complain?
They’re just being insensitive to your ‘spontaneity’ and free spirit….envious
bastards.
Step 8: Blame it on the ISM
The next time
things don’t go your way or you missed out on some promotion or raise, blame it
on an “ISM”. There are plenty to choose from. RacISM, SexISM, AgeISM, etc.
Remember, it’s never your responsibility to create wealth and opportunity.
Someone should always look out for you because you’ve been handicapped (i.e.,
with some ISM of course) by the unfairness of society. Someone should also make
amends and remunerations for your inconvenience should be made to you. Don’t
forget to always complain about how “the man” won’t let you succeed. And always
blame your failing on some corporate guy with a nice suite and tie. They’re
always guilty of something. They’re all liars and cheats waiting to be exposed.
Bonus rule:
Step 9: It’s Never Your Problem
No matter how bad
you perform or don’t perform at all, it isn’t your fault (Corollary to Rule 8).
It’s never your problem. It’s always someone else’s deal. And if you can’t
find a warm body to blame it on, use someone who’s dead. Dead people are
useful for blaming things on because they can’t dismiss the accusation and you
feel better since it isn’t your fault. If you can’t find any dead people to
blame it on, use the ultimate trump card, the Universe (or Cosmos). Either one
is good enough when it come to blame. Just blame your misfortune on some ‘weird
existential vibe’ thing that can’t be defined. And if someone doesn’t believe
you they’re just being insensitive and ignorant of an existence on a ‘much
higher level’ where you can’t be held responsible.
Follow these nine
rules and I guarantee you that you will lose your money and fake your destiny
with GREAT SUCCESS.
Victor
Gonzalez, one of America's top motivational speaker and author of “The LOGIC of
Success”. For more info go to: www.thelogicofsuccess.com
or by email
victor@thelogicofsuccess.com
Success Happens for a Reason
Copyright © 2004 by Victor
Gonzalez All rights reserved. This article MAY be reproduced in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, as long
as the author’s name, website and email address are included as part of the
article’s body. All inquiries, including information on electronic licensing,
should be directed to Victor Gonzalez, victor@thelogicofsuccess.com.
www.thelogicofsuccess.com
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